Log in

No account? Create an account

I'm at the end of my rope

I had to leave work early again today after my stomach/esophagus/pharynx started rebelling AGAIN. I WAS feeling better, but then I was an idiot and went out to lunch 3 days ago where I think I got glutened. So, considering that I wasn't totally better from my thyroid and that pollen from all sorts of things are blowing around like crazy, my ass has been getting kicked since Saturday afternoon. (And, of course, work makes it worse because it kicks up my anxiety the moment I step in the building, especially when there are screaming banshee children *twitch*)

I was finally eating relatively regularly, feeling good enough to be preppy again even at work (a coworker actually said to me "You must be feeling better since you're smiling more!"), and I was finally getting back into riding in time for a horse show this weekend. But if things continue the way they are, I'm gonna burn out my sick time and my little bit of vacation time (which I had horsey plans for, damnit), I won't get to have any of the horsey fun I've been planning for months, and I'm simply so fucking sick of being sick.

I just don't know how much longer I can do this.

Honestly, if I could, I'd leave my job now instead of waiting until the end of June so I could have time to just chill and let my body get better without the stress of work 5 times a week, but I need the income, and more importantly (especially now), I REALLY need the health insurance. Rock, meet hard place. (Aka: Real life. Ugh.)